This is A Letter.
I am writing to myself. Lately I have not been feeling very well. If you ask me why, I will not have an answer. Sometimes we don't feel very well for no reason, or for reasons we don't know. But one of the potential causes of this sadness might be, the lack of creativity that I've been feeling for a coule of months now. I am currently writing a script for a short film as part of my modules and I am completely uninspired. I could probably stop typing this letter and just write the script, but I know what I would write and what I would write doesn't make me feel much. It's a strange feeling, when being in the creative arts sector, I keep feeling I have to prove myself, to prove I've got talent. I've always thought I'm not a talented person, I'm just a practical person that works hard.. And that gets me a few inches somewhere. But talent, talent is another thing. It can take you miles.
I feel I am the worst judge of myself. I mean I judge other's people work all the time, but mine, it's different, as I judge it through ther people's eyes and minds. Every step I take I look right and left and back and up and down, to make sure everyone's good with it, everyone approves. But the first one to shut it down is myself. It's strange I said. Do I have what it takes? Am I creative? Is this what I meant to be doing? Am I doing it right. Thoughts that keep climbing my mind quite often and torment me. I don't have an answear. I keep waiting for someone else to answer them for me. I keep waiting for someone to turn around and say 'Sorry but you're bad at this. Find something else to do'. I would not listen probably, cause I love what I do too much, but at least I would know the truth if that is the one.
I think I need a break. It's probably my tiredness along with the workload I've had this term. So many things that were going on, but it got too much and that's why I'm feeling this way. I just had to put it there.
P.S. the title of the post is from the script I'm writing. It sounds irrelevant but is not as much.